How to help our children make good choices at school
We all want our children to make good choices.
What daily choices will my child confront at The Forest School? And as a parent, how can I support my child as they make choices, experience natural consequences, and become more independent?
The Forest School is designed as a learning environment where learners ages 5 to 18 get daily practice making a multitude of age appropriate choices and experiencing the ramifications of those choices. The choices are made with adult guidance and not with adult control or coercion; rather, learners are in control. Not only do learners report enjoying having control of their learning, we believe it’s crucial for their development.
This article is meant to help Forest School parents understand (1) what are the daily choices a learner can make at school and (2) what at-home guidance parents can provide. Here are the top 7 most important daily choices your learners face, including practical advice for helpful steps you can take at home:
Choice #1—Daily goal setting to decide what and how much to study
How this choice compares to a traditional learning environment: Teachers set the goals.
How parents can help at home:
- Ask your learner their weekly/daily and monitor their goal setting
- Let your learner know that you and the Guides both know and care about their goals
- Provide accountability
- Provide incentives for meeting goals
- Celebrate when goals are met
What adult guidance is provided by Guides at school:
- Teach goal setting & provide goal setting platform
- Ensure goals set align with badge plans / yearly goals
- Revisit goals in 1-on-1 check ins
- Design and share intrinsic and extrinsic incentives to inspire deep learning
“Guardrails” on this choice:
- When learners consistently fail to set or meet goals, parents are notified
- Learners are expected and encouraged to make weekly progress on all aspects of their learning
Good choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Being on track or ahead from a pacing standpoint
- More freedoms in the Studio
Long term:
- Advancing Studios on time or ahead of time
- Goal setting skills
Bad choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Falling behind
- Fewer freedoms
Long term:
- Advancing Studios late / after their peers
- Unfocused, distracted, careless traits
Choice #2—Where to sit in the Studio
How this choice compares to a traditional learning environment: Teachers assign seating, often in inflexible learning spaces.
How parents can help at home:
- Ask learners where they sit, why, and how it went
- Discuss challenges they face in getting into “flow”, and how to overcome them
- Show them your own workspace and brainstorm ideas for theirs
- Encourage and celebrate wise and consistent choices
What adult guidance is provided by Guides at school:
- Arrange for flexible seating
- Lead regular Socratic discussions about wise decision making
- Facilitate self-reflection of observed good and bad choices
- Brainstorm options with learners in 1-on-1 check ins
- Celebrate choices that lead to learners getting into flow
“Guardrails” on this choice:
- Designate daily where learners can and cannot study and work
- When intentionality is consistently low, limit seating freedoms
- Ensure all learners have access to distraction-free workspaces
- Notify parents when there are concerns
Good choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Minimizing potential distractions
Long term:
- Creating strong routines and work habits
- Higher work quality
Bad choices will lead to…
Short term:
- Maximizing potential distractions
Long term:
- Delaying work
- Missing goals
- Lower quality work
Choice #3—What tech devices to use at school and what to look at online
How this choice compares to a traditional learning environment: Strict policies for tech use and online content (eg, limited online content and/or no phones, tablets, or outside devices).
How parents can help at home:
- Ensure safety measures on any outside tech brought into school
- Keep outside tech home when it becomes a distraction
- Celebrate when learners get into flow
What adult guidance is provided by Guides at school:
- Monitor appropriate tech use (both content and time on task) and respond accordingly
- Discuss wise tech use in 1-on-1 check ins
“Guardrails” on this choice:
- Ensure adherence to tech policies that ensure safety and promote strong digital citizenship
- Notify parents when there are concerns
Good choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Tech freedoms
Long term:
- Strong digital citizenship
- Self control and self regulation
Bad choices will lead to..
Short term:
- Tech limits
Long term:
- Poor digital citizenship
- Lack of self control and self regulation
Choice #4—What to say out loud in a mixed age setting
How this choice compares to a traditional learning environment: Socialization through grade-based (ie, similar age) settings.
How parents can help at home:
- Discuss what they should and shouldn’t say around younger learners
- When learners hear something new from a peer, turn it into a family conversation aligned with your values and beliefs
- Celebrate when your learner mentors and/or is thoughtful about younger learners
What adult guidance is provided by Guides at school:
- Ensure a safe environment for all
- Provide mentorship opportunities
- Immediately address 100% of disrespectful or denigrating comments observed, and investigate those predicted or rumored
- Explore wise mentorship in 1-on-1 check ins and Socratic discussions
“Guardrails” on this choice:
- Ensure the Contract includes respect in a mixed age environment
- Notify parents when there are concerns or incidents that need to be addressed
- Zero tolerance for endangerment and disrespect
Good choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Contributing to a positive Studio culture
- Building strong mentoring relationships
Long term:
- Growing deep and trusting relationships
- Learning to live together
Bad choices will lead to..
Short term:
- Reset days at home
Long term:
- Learners self selecting out of school
Choice #5—How to navigate distractions—eg, peer, noise, or online distractions
How this choice compares to a traditional learning environment: Teacher manages classroom behavior.
How parents can help at home:
- Ensure a healthy breakfast and good night’s sleep
- Make a list of top 5 distractions and discuss plans to overcome them
- Celebrate instances when your learner overcomes distractions and remains in flow
What adult guidance is provided by Guides at school:
- Facilitate learners to draft and uphold a Contract of promises that minimize distractions
- Facilitate self-reflection and brainstorm improvements
- 1-on-1 check ins to workshop solutions
- Celebrate when learners get in flow
“Guardrails” on this choice:
- Guides design, clarify, and uphold limits for when and where learners can be throughout the day
Good choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Staying ahead on or getting track with learning goals
Long term:
- Resourcefulness
- Focus
- Life purpose
Bad choices will lead to..
Short term:
- Falling behind with learning goals
Long term:
- Hyperactivity
- Impulsive behavior
- Difficulty focusing
Choice #6—How to learn something new—eg, ask a peer, trial and error, online research, or Socratic conversation with Guide
How this choice compares to a traditional learning environment: Teachers explain skills and content.
How parents can help at home:
- Talk to your learner about learning to learn
- Share stories of how you and others learn to learn
- Ask questions to see if they’ve exhausted all their options
- Give growth mindset praise
What adult guidance is provided by Guides at school:
- Share stories of learning to learn
- Publicly or privately celebrate when learners learn something new on their own
- Use Socratic guiding to help learners think more deeply about their challenges and goals
- Discuss successful methods in 1-on-1 check ins
“Guardrails” on this choice:
- Notify parents when there are concerns about learning differences and whether outside help might be appropriate
Good choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Deep learning
Long term:
- Learning to learn
- Resourcefulness
- Flexibility of mind
- Ability to learn independently
Bad choices will lead to..
Short term:
- Bad attitudes
- Victim mentality
Long term:
- Laziness
- Stinking thinking
- Dependent on others
Choice #7—How to self-govern—eg, whether and how to share feedback with others and/or make changes in the Studio
How this choice compares to a traditional learning environment: Teachers make rules that learners have to follow.
How parents can help at home:
- Model the giving and receiving of feedback by giving constructive feedback and asking your learner for their input
- Help your learner think through ways they can model and make changes
- Encourage them to run experiments to see what change methods work the best; discuss results and encourage them to design new trials
What adult guidance is provided by Guides at school:
- Clarify and remind learners of ways they can make changes in the Studio (eg, revising Contracts, Town Hall meetings and votes, Council decisions, etc)
- Diagnose realities and discuss possibilities in 1-on-1 check ins and Socratic launches
“Guardrails” on this choice:
- Guides oversee and ensure that learners’ decisions and processes are equitable, safe for others, and nondiscriminatory
- Notify parents when there are concerns
Good choices will lead to...
Short term:
- Creating a positive, productive Studio culture
Long term:
- Learning to live together
- Self differentiation
- Personal and societal leadership
Bad choices will lead to..
Short term:
- Contributing to a negative, destructive Studio culture
Long term:
- Victim mentality
- Resistance
Of course there are other choices learners make, but the above seven are most important.
Buy why?
Why should we protect choices for our young people? Why is allowing for learner choice so important?
In most US schools today, young people are following rules they didn’t make and listening to explanations of questions they didn’t ask.
Think about that for a moment.
Imagine that was your modus operandi every single day for 12+ years during the most developmentally important years of your life. With that kind of practice, and with that amount of repetition, what would you get good at doing? How much would you value what you learned? What would your mindsets be like? In all seriousness, how would your spirit feel?
The traditional designs of schools and classrooms in the United States have created an epidemic of dependent learners unprepared to do the complex thinking and creative problem solving required for life’s next steps. The good news is that giving learners choice and autonomy through self-directed learning can help.
Self-directed learning at The Forest School happens when our learners—in the context of an interdependent community of peers, trained educators, and caring adults—choose the processes, content, skills, learning pathways, and outcomes of learning, with the guidance, accountability, and support of others. Giving learners choice helps our next generation grow their “independence muscles” and cultivate a healthy spirit.
Giving learners choice also helps them overcome fear.
In a 2019 Getting Smart article, I shared that...
“The fear of loss of autonomy is that of being restricted, overwhelmed, or controlled by an outside force. In our standard education system, students have little choice in what they learn, how they learn, how quickly they learn, or why they learn, which can provoke this fear. As we acknowledge this fear, how can we address it in a way that allows students to tap into their courage?
Schools give learners autonomy by giving them agency and authority over their education, by giving them as much choice as possible. (With guardrails, of course. Without them, you’ll end up with a Lord of the Flies situation.)
In schools that have pioneered this idea by putting students in charge of their learning, they see that kids sustain their motivation to learn. It’s a really powerful thing. While it can be scary for adults and teachers because we don’t want to give up control, it can change a student’s entire learning experience (for the better). For students who are starting further behind, this can be a really crucial concept to implement as well.
As a teacher and parent, it’s tempting to hover and fix things when you see your student or child failing and struggling. But that process is one of the most important parts of a student’s education that prepares them for the future. Students who have agency over their education develop a healthy sense of autonomy and become better learners. But when we give up this control, we enable students to tap into their courage and figure this out themselves.”
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